To all those incurably stupid people that post blog entries during the Winter that said, "It's cold outside! See! Global warming? MYTH!" - May I please say... BITE ME. Other than being incurably bad environmental science ("GLOBAL" warming, not "localized temperature" warming...) our city, Toronto, is currently experiencing a garbage strike (mmmm... aroma!)... AND (of course,) 90-plus degree weather. (That's 33 degrees plus in Centigrade.)

None-the-less, and even better, the palatial Didier-Darroch Compound has only TWO antiquated electrical circuits (the building is over eighty years old,) and no, I can use the stove's circuit 'cuz we be cookin' with gas... so air conditioning is NOT an option. (Most air conditioners use 17 amps to kick over the compressor... meaning pop-a-fuse-a-mania!)

So, my Thursday Thirteen is kinda cancelled because it's too hot, sticky, and drippy to think... save for something for non-Canadians to consider...

#13: The polar bears are asking to be shaved down.

#12: Our igloos are melting... Many are being left homeless.

#11: Santa's dropped about fifty pounds just by sweating.

#10: Ice sculpture artists find water difficult to cut with a chain saw.

#9: Confused tourists are wondering if they're really in Atlanta, Georgia.

#8: Three words: Mosquito Heat Stroke.

#7: Canada Dry changing it's name to Canada Humid.

#6: Nanook of the North now sporting shades and a Speedo.

#5: Pucks and skate blades don't move well on concrete when the rinks melt.

#4: Suddenly, Americans hear us now saying "OW" in the words, "house" and "about"... but notice a twang in our accents and are frightened when Tim Horton's waitresses say, "Y'all come back now, y'hear!"

#3: Children are stealing the antlers from passing moose to use as fans.

#2: Great Lakes now more like expansive puddles.

#1: Sled dogs refuse to run on hot asphalt leading to terrible traffic jams.