Archives for: June 2008, 14

06/14/08

Permalink 12:00:01 am, by Email , 1244 words   English (CA)
Categories: Half-Butt Postings

Feet of clay...

Newsflash... People are human. Okay, this post SO doesn't correspond to probably ninety per-cent of my faithful readers, so let me set the table for the newbies...

"Blogger A" is a humour blogger. He's funny. He flirts. He's charming. Because of this, "Blogger A" gains fans... a small collective in the blogsphere of which I'm an acknowledged lurker... "Blogger A" becomes close to many... especially "Blogger B", a woman/fan of "Blogger A" who things take off with.

...sum up... disaster. Relationship fizzles with spectacular and very semi-public results... with many "hurt feelings" amongst this small circle... and many people siding on either "Blogger A" side (mostly fans) and also on "Blogger B" side (sympathy for the hurt).

Either way, you would assume reading some of the comments and posts about this that somehow, the entire "blogsphere" was in an uproar...

Truth: Nope. It isn't. Only this very small circle is licking it's collective wounds... which, in my eyes, shouldn't exist in the first place. The wounds these people suffer are really of their own design... they are masters of their own misfortune.

In fact, many of the level headed types in this small circle kinda know this.

POINT: Guess what folks? On the internet, things aren't always as they appear... and yeah, people misrepresent themselves... or, in this case...

1: Do not get the truth about their personas "out there" and people feel crumby when push comes to shove.

2: People don't hide... but in a fierce set of fandom or otherwise just the desire to like certain people, other's will happily delude themselves.

Both of the above are probably more accurate than anything... and for my second newsflash, the incident I'm speaking to is ABSOLUTELY not the first time I've seen/read/heard of things like this happening... and I can guarantee, it won't be the last.

Blogging allows people to really push out their private lives... this makes certain folks rather vulnerable about things "online"... but perhaps they should reign in things... and perhaps, this small circle has just learned a valuable lesson that some of us old-online types (I've had a web-presence online since 1995 and used FidoNet and even ArpaNet... and was a regular in certain NNTP news groups...) have known for a while.

Rule One: Only put online what you'd be willing to publish in your local newspaper.

Look through this entire blog... it's been here for over two years... and tell me the name of ANY of my steplings. Go ahead... Try...

Notice something?

What's the name of the company I work for? What specifically do I do for them? Sure, they're in Toronto... but where? How long have Sue and I been together? What was the name of ANY of my past girlfriends... friends... mother... sisters... Can you find 'em?

...nope. You can't. You can get "glimpses" of my "offline" life, but not at all close to even half of the things I'm up to.

To be honest, reading this blog actually only gives the reader about 15% of my life... no more... and no less. You get only what I'm willing to give.

This is intentional. It's not me "holding back" or being "closed"... it's just that I've learned that if people THINK they know you 100%, they will form attachments and more importantly, opinions... that may not live up to expectations.

You folks, my regular readers, are friends, yes... but you're acquaintances really. I'm kinda glad you don't know everything about me... I'm pretty sure you should be glad about this too.

More than anything, when looking at the posts and comments about this "global blogsphere disaster", you realise that there's the key... people are more "disappointed" than anything else. They are upset that their precious belief and faith in what they "knew" to be true was not accurate... and that indeed, people are human... mistakes made... trouble happens... and it sucks.

...and still, there's outrage. It's as if the bloggers in question intentionally wounded some of these people. I can say with some assurance of being correct... this is NOT the case.

"Blogger A" and "Blogger B" suffer most... people DIRECTLY (in real life) suffer next... and yet, so many "online" are hoisting this issue onto their shoulders as if it's THEIR load to bear. Is it? Does being an "online friend" or "online fan" give you this entitlement?

Either way, if I may be allowed to sum up the whole thing...

Online friends... heck, even online idols... are still people... and fall prey to the caprices that humans do. They may "appear" in one sense... but are you so sure that is who they are... or are you placing your own veneer on someone you can't fully know because it suits your philosophy...?

Can you "hate" or even be angry at these people? Only if it DIRECTLY impacted your day-to-day REAL life... otherwise, like a television program you're watching, you can either change what you're looking at... or turn the damned thing off.

You SHOULD have real-life, flesh-and-blood folks around... you shouldn't need to live vicariously online through distant acquaintances... and if you do, get up, open the door, and take a stroll... remind yourself of what is real, good, and yes, even bad about YOUR world... not the world of others.

To that circle of people... and I know I've made some of you angry if you've read this... please understand, this is just a caring acquaintance saying that this is not real to most of you... and should not spur this much emotion. These people aren't coming to your home... and perhaps, that is for the best.

Take "online life" as it should be taken... an escape for a moment from real life... but in no way a substitute for it.

...and those heroes of the blogsphere... they're human... and they will make mistakes and occasionally do really awful things... but you're not married to them yourself... and they aren't going to be sharing a bowl of popcorn on the couch watching a DVD with you tonight... and therefore, should not be THAT important to you.

Lastly, if you're thinking of making any "life altering" decisions based on internet acquaintances, realise that you probably know about as much about them as you do about me... and that's not a good amount of data to base a life on.

Hate me if you will for this... tell me that this case is "different"... tell me that I don't "understand"... and I'll simply parrot what I've said above.

Been there, seen this, bought the T-Shirt, ripped the sleeves off, Tie-Dyed it, and now see it as the same-old rags I've got lying around for various chores.

The recent situation is not unique... and it won't be the last time you hear of someone or even know someone who experiences the same thing.

In closing, if the joke, Life! That sounds cool! Where can I download one of those? is appropriate to your existence... then you don't deserve my wrath... you don't deserve my lecture... you do, however, deserve a bit of sympathy.

There's a pretty cool world out there in "Real Life"... experience it... and base not thyself on blogging idols and online friends.

They almost never measure up to the high standards you expect of them.


RLH 3

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D O.U.O.S.V.A.V.V. M
Et In Arcadia Ego

IMPORTANT NOTICE:


October 28th, 2009

See the "latest post" on the left here... I've decided to concentrate on other work so this blog is kinda done for me... THANKS kindly to my friends and regular readers... and as you'll note, I am still loitering in the blogsphere... and I'm still online... and I honestly haven't given up hope that we will get our dream bus one day! (We've just gotten REALLY quiet about it...)

My Disclosure Policy For Sponsored Posts

Blog-Gone! Thanks for reading!

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