Post details: Thursday Thirteen (The Tenth Such Post I've Done) - WARNING!


Permalink 05:35:01 pm, by Email , 1195 words   English (CA)
Categories: Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen (The Tenth Such Post I've Done) - WARNING!


Do you remember Stella Liebeck? No? She was a seventy-nine year old woman who sued MacDonald's Restaurants for serving very hot coffee without warning.


Now, MacDonalds DID serve its coffee VERY hot... in fact, it was almost 200 degrees Fahrenheit... and it did cause a nasty burn...


The response was to place warnings on the cup... "CAUTION: CONTENTS HOT".

Now, when I order a hot drink, I assume it will be hot... and DOES have the potential to burn... but do I need to be warned of this?

...personally, I don't think so...

Sometimes, in this litigious world we live in, you really have to look at warnings on products and wonder WHO is this warning for? Was this a concern in the past? Did we miss ANOTHER silly lawsuit?

So, in the vein of being warned, as you are along some of Toronto's waterfront, "DO NOT SWIM IF WATER IS FROZEN", here is my THIRTEEN PRODUCT WARNINGS I'VE COME ACROSS AND HAD TO WONDER IF ANYONE REALLY NEEDED THIS WARNING...

Instructions for this Thursday Thirteen:

- Open browser
- Surf to post
- Read
- Giggle
- Rinse
- Repeat if necessary.

One Old Green Bus, it's owners, authors, and related employees do not accept any liability for damages sustained while reading this blog. After reading it, do not operate heavy machinery and remember, this blog is not a toy...



#13: Did you know, for example, Nytol sleeping pills "MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS".

Wouldn't it be counter-productive if they didn't?


Foam? IN SOAP!?!

#12: Having older girls means sometimes finding the latest and greatest "skin-care" products loitering in my bathroom... but one package of Stridex Foaming Face Wash warned me that, indeed, "MAY CONTAIN FOAM".


Don't Toss This at Someone!


What do you think this warning was on? Lawn dart? Shot-put? Baseball?


It was a frozen roasting duck from a Quebec farm.


Jeepers, Creepers... where'd ya get them peepers! (STREAK FREE!)

#10: Windex window/glass spray cleaner thoughtfully warns you "DO NOT SPRAY IN EYES".

...which immediately ruined my plans that day!


Mmmm... list or magnet... which is the best to eat?

#9: You know those "fridge magnets" that look like slices of melon, pineapple, and whanot? Well, you'll be happy to hear that these tiny plastic/rubber magnets are "NOT REAL FOOD - DO NOT EAT".

I thought they were a bit chewy.



#8: "SOME SCENES MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN" - On a DVD box for Rob Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses".

Okay honey! I've got Elmo, Barney, Dora, and House of 1000 Corpses for little Johnny!

From the reviews I saw of the film, it may also be said that some scenes are not suitable for anyone... period.


Catches thieves, just like flies!

#7: Near an industrial building in Toronto's West End, there is a wall/fence that is about fourteen or fifteen feet high... it is solid concrete and realistically, is pretty much what you invision... a sheer well of concrete that's pretty darned tall.

The sign in the middle of it warns you, however... "DO NOT CLIMB".

Dammit! There goes my "spidey-plans" for this weekend!


Wheee! How do I light this if I can't have the LIGHTER near an open flame???

#6: "DO NOT OPERATE NEAR OPEN FLAME" - Barbecue lighter.

Makes sense, but think about it...


Do Not Use Electrical Appliances Here...

#5: You hear it often, but it's true... pretty much all hair dryers and electronic "hair styling" equipment warns us "DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING" and "DO NOT USE IN THE SHOWER".

One has to assume that using these items while sleeping in the shower would be doubly catastrophic.


If your windpipe is clogged, you will resemble this...

#4: In some of my routines, I have had need of earplugs... and one set came with the warning... "THESE EAR PLUGS ARE NON-TOXIC BUT MAY INTERFERE WITH BREATHING IF CAUGHT IN WINDPIPE"

Okay, first of all, "Ear Plugs" are not pills... or so we would hope that MOST people would understand this... I've got a rock concert to go to tonight... better swallow these two earplugs before I go!

One also has to read this one and wonder how many other products might interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe?


Bit Cool...

#3: As stated at the begining of this - because of a ridiculous lawsuit, "CAUTION: HOT" is on most coffee cups... but it does go both ways... "CAUTION: ITEM COLD" was on a frozen treat - ice cream in a sugar cone with nuts and caramel - I picked up the other day at a convenience store... from their freezer.


If this baby cow CANNOT explain it's pain, DO NOT USE A VIBRATOR ON IT!

#2: I have to set this one up so as not to appear... um... well... Years ago, I worked for a company in Toronto that was a catalogue store named Consumers Distributing.

One of the items, that will NEVER leave my memory was "Catalog Entry KE 407-122" which was... well... it was entitled a "personal massager"... in layman's terms, it was a phallus-shaped sex toy.

Oddly enough, it was the only "such" item in the catalogue... and even funnier is, in the two years I worked for this company, the only people we ever sold KE 407-122s to were men... and always with the same lines... It's for a joke... a gag... it's not for me...

It probably was meant for a joke, but there was a certain amount of glee we took in making these guys kinda feel odd...

Anyway, the ONLY warning on the boxes this six-inch, vibrating, plastic "massager" had was... "DO NOT USE ON UNEXPLAINED CALF PAINS".

In all the staff's opinion at Consumer's Distributing, if you were using it on your legs, you already had a problem.



#1: I bought a bag of candied "maple peanuts" (beer nuts with a maple flavour)... the bag contained the warning "MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS".

All I could think when reading this was, I bloody well hope so! I'd be far more disturbed if this didn't have ANY traces of nuts in it...

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


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Comment from: Tink [Visitor] Email ·
Ridiculous warnings, you are so right. Good for a great laugh though; thanks for making me smile! :-)
My TT shares Thirteen (quotes from) lyrics by Robbie Williams.
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 07:10
Comment from: Robin [Visitor] Email ·
They're all funny, and ridiculous, and even sad, but only #11 had me downright cackling. Just the thought of chucking something like that at someone...
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 07:54
Comment from: Lori [Visitor] Email ·
LOL!! Very funny list!
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 08:07
Comment from: Malcolm [Visitor] Email ·
It's a shame that the litigious society in which we live has caused companies to cover their ass and put these warnings on their labels. Your comments about the phallus-shaped sex toy reminded me of when I worked at a bookstore several years ago. Occasionally, men would come in to buy "Playgirl" magazine. Almost everytime they would say something along the lines that it's for their wife/girlfriend. I wanted to tell them that I didn't care who it was for, just pay for it and move on.
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 08:54
Comment from: head gaggler [Visitor] Email ·
Those are great. Very stupid warnings.
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 09:17
Comment from: Uisce [Visitor] Email ·
Seems to me the people who need these warnings aren't reading them anyway. But boy oh boy do some people need them! :)
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 09:59
Comment from: Morgan St. John [Visitor] ·
I really needed that.
Very funny.
good luck with your fundraising. That sounds like a great project.
Morgan, romance writer and T13er
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 10:24
Comment from: Denise Patrick [Visitor] Email ·
You are so right about the crazy things that are put on products these days. Great TT list!

Happy TT!
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 12:52
That was...HILARIOUS. I've bookmarked this page for later reference. Love the cartoons of my top two 13s for today.
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 14:54
Comment from: Joy T. [Visitor] Email ·
Visiting from the big list of TT's. Great list and very funny. #11 had me LOL
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 15:54
Comment from: Nicholas [Visitor] Email ·
You couldn't make it up, could you!
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 18:57
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
Hey Tink... I'm a "casual fan" or Mr. Williams, so I'll be by shortly!

Hey Robin... I know... when I read that, I though Who in God's name was chucking these at whom to warrant this warning!?!

Hey Lori... Danke!

Hey Malcolm... There were times it was like, Spare us the explanation... just pay and see ya later! but I will never forget the time a fellow ordered fifteen of them... THAT deserved a little attention...

Hey head gaggler... but what's more stupid, the warnings or those who made the warnings necessary?

Hey Uisce... Agreed! I've often reminded people that signs, like blogs, are for people who can read... and it's obvious that the amount of illiterate people where I live has been GREATLY underestimated!

Hey Morgan St. John... Thanks very kindly!

Hey Denise Patrick... What's crazier is why they NEED to be there. Indicative that, indeed, stupid people are breeding!

Hey Damozel... Many thanks!

Hey Joy T.... We aim to amuse! :)

Hey Nicholas... I'd like to think I could make up better... like on a "Craftsman Hammer" - STRIKING YOUR FOREHEAD WITH THIS TOOLS IS NOT RECOMMENDED
PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 19:12
Comment from: Morgan St. John [Visitor] Email ·
Thank you for visiting my blog...
and, HELLO?! next time I'll be sure to wikipedia a made up word. Who would of thunk? LOL

PermalinkPermalink 09/06/07 @ 21:17
Great list. I do remember the Leibeck case.
PermalinkPermalink 09/07/07 @ 13:37
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
Hey Buck Naked Politics... Thanks kindly!
PermalinkPermalink 09/08/07 @ 09:25



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