Post details: BlogTalkers: No Bad Things


Permalink 10:32:19 am, by Email , 946 words   English (CA)
Categories: BlogTalkers

BlogTalkers: No Bad Things


This week's question/request...

Has anything bad ever happened to you that turned out to be for the best?

Stormy Weather

I'm actually rather an optimist. (Can you tell?)

I don't believe that "bad things" happen to anyone... THINGS happen to people and it's all a matter of interpretation.

Conversely, and possibly a little hypocritically, I do believe in luck and do believe a person can have some rather wonderful things happen to and around them for periods of time... but this is about "bad things"... which, again, I'm not truly a person who believes in these.

In my eyes, life is a series of challenges... things that must be dealt with and overcome. Even if the "best" thing happens... let's say you win a big lottery... it will come with some bad stuff... such as people trying to part you from your money by any means possible.

There's an old Irish saying... Every ounce of pleasure is purchased with a pound of pain. Although this is negative, I see the logic in it.

If you find the "perfect house", you will need to work to buy it. If you are in tip-top health, this is because you've worked to ensure you are healthy. Heck, at its basis, if you have a wonderful chocolate cake for desert, it was either baked or bought by you and required effort.

Everything in life, in my eyes, will require effort... and takes a little pain to make it perfect.

Has anything "bad" happened to me? Only if I let it happen... I don't blame others or situations for personal things. I am the master of my own destiny... so therefore, if all the situations revolve around my personal choices, how can I see them as "bad"?

...and since everything, regardless, is either a life-lesson or that "ounce of pleasure", how can I see it as truly stemming from the negative?

There are events that I cannot see any good from... let's take the horrible terrorist events happening all around us right now...

...but even then, I am reminded of a quote from the late Kurt Vonnegut...

I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire truck.

The end is not justified by the means, but I still try to find the silver linings in everything.

On a much smaller note... let's say that the fellow that has our bus right now sells to someone else...

I'd think, Boy, I hope they take care of it and ensure it stays in good shape. I hope they're ready for the job of getting it going! and if they asked, I would be pleased to help in any way I could. Better to be in someone else's hands in one piece then scrapped.

How about if it got scrapped... I'd think Oh well, I tried... and the journey and attempt to try has led me to many new friends and a real learning experience.

I'd still NOT see the bad in it. I wouldn't be happy, but I refuse to lie down and weep about things.

Life is too short to do that.

Some COULD say that I needed this incident (click here) to really understand about my own life and survival... and I see that... but I don't think it was necessary and I don't "blame" anyone... and the lessons I take from it were simply what they were... no more and no less.

Has a bad thing happened for the best? I dunno... has a bad thing happened... or has "things" happened...?

There's an old saying... Poop (or a word to that effect beginning with "S") Happens... and someone built a T-Shirt that said Life Happens as a response... and I've noted that people take this one of two ways...

Life = Poop is one.

The other, and the one I subscribe to, is that you can't moan or mope about life... because it WILL happen and you will need to accept it as is... because more often than not, it ain't gonna make exceptions for you... so roll with the punches...

Janie sings on the corner, what keeps her from dying.
Let 'em say what they want, but she won't stop tryin', oh you know...
She might stumble, and be pushed around,
she might fall, but she'll never lie down ... it's not so bad.

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day,
And it's all your state of mind.
At the end of the day,
You've just got to say ... it's all right.

- Great Big Sea: Ordinary Day


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Comment from: Ed [Visitor] Email ·
And this is a I'm not getting it. Sorry.

I guess to be, the blessing would be that there are people who always can see the good out of the bad, even when the person who has the bad happen to them really doesn't want to hear another philosophize.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 10:39
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
Hey Ed... Um... I think you were looking for my BYB post... which is BELOW this one and is about courage... and features a still from the movie "300". This is my "BlogTalkers" post... I do two posts on Sundays.

Sorry for the confusion.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 10:53
Comment from: CyberCelt [Visitor] Email ·
Was that Ritchie Havens?
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 11:18
Comment from: Amanda Regan [Visitor] Email ·
I agree with your Blog Talkers post, I had great difficulty with this one too. How can something bad turn out good, it's always going to be something bad the good things are just incidental.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 13:48
Comment from: ONIT [Visitor] Email ·
Great Big Sea Rawks. :)

I totally disagree with most of the rest of what you said..

'Cause I was 5. And I didn't do anything to make it happen. And it did. And right now, I'm happy there's a delete key on my keyboard, or there'd be a whole lot of bitter pouring out.

But Great Big Sea rawks. :D
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 21:50
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
Hey CyberCelt... Nope, it was Great Big Sea.

Hi Amanda Regan... Yeah, but it's still interpretive.

ONIT... I assure you this was not a personal thing with you... also, I did assume "adult" things. Children and those unable to fend for themselves would NOT be inclusive in my statements... again, I was thinking in terms of being an "adult" question.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 22:02
Comment from: ONIT [Visitor] Email ·
Uhm.. whut? personal thing with me? ::confused:: Didn't think it was about ME.. just disagreed with the basics.. but now that it's strictly adult stuff.. yeah.. I still disagree.. 'cause sometimes really bad things can happen to really good people.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 22:13
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
ONIT... Sorry, I thought you had taken personal umbrage to my post... I apologise if I misunderstood.

You can disagree, and I understand your point... but let me give you a fer instance... and TRUST ME, I'm not saying "poor me" with this example... it's just an example that I can personalize and share...

My father literally died before my eyes when I was seventeen. Not long after, my mother, who was under obvious tremendous stress over the death of her husband, announced that she had "done kids" and I was kicked out of the house.

I didn't ask or invite EITHER of these events... and they SHOULD be considered bad because they were...


I see them as episodes... things that, in some grand scheme, had to happen. Call it "destiny" if you will, but I just think that it's the capricious nature of the universe.

People die. Other people have issues. Things happen...

...and in the end, I became FAR more self-sufficient and learned to adapt and survive.

Is that good? Perhaps... Is that bad? Perhaps...

In my eyes, it was what it was... and to date, no one has perfected the time machine to change it so regardless, these events ARE a part of me and my life. Period. Neither good nor bad.
PermalinkPermalink 08/26/07 @ 22:36
Comment from: Amanda Regan [Visitor] Email ·
is learning from a bad experience and not making the same mistake (or coming near it) and warning a loved one away from making a mistake a good thing?

I don't think you can "warn someone away" from a particular action you can only give someone your point of view & experience. Everyone has to make up their own mind & no two experiences no matter how similar will ever be exactly the same.
Warning someone away from making a mistake is a good thing but the fact I would have had to go through something bad to be able to offer my advice still means that I'd rather not have the experience in question.
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 09:46
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
Hey Amanda Regan... I 'spose. I guess I'm really just a fatalist in some ways and feel that some things just cannot be avoided.
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 10:50
Comment from: administration [Member] Email ·
I've got my entry online too:
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 12:39
Comment from: trish [Visitor] Email ·
So.. what if it's a crime? A woman gets raped. An old lady mugged. A man gets beaten by his neighbour. All bad things.

I mean.. I can absolutely see your point - I just don't think it can be generalized across the board. SOME bad things are certainly learning experiences and can be good for us in the long run. SOME bad things just really suck and don't do anyone any good.

I totally get the whole "It is what it is" attitude. And I've applied it to several things in my life. But its a band-aid over a boo-boo, not a cure.
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 13:09
Comment from: admin [Member] Email ·
ONIT... If I may quote myself...

Children and those unable to fend for themselves would NOT be inclusive in my statements...

I would consider "threat of bodily harm with no chance to defend yourself" falling under that...

...even then, when I look at Sue's example she's used on "Urban Zoo", it depends on how you look at the event.


It seems the following is required...


I, Matthew James Didier, being of sound... well... um... "being" do solemnly say that I was wrong. My perceptions are incorrect. My attitude and feeling is in error. I apologise most profusely and offer my sincerest apologies to those whom disagree with what I have said. I am currently seeking the council of a Tibetan Guru to learn more about the error of my ways.

Yeah, that was sarcasm... (Said with a smile... not to be mean...)

I know too many people that lead horrid lives and do horrid things based on their "horrid past".

Conversely, I know people who have excelled and really made a huge difference in the world who had horrid things happen and survived horrid events that DON'T feel the need to laud their "bad thing" as an excuse or even reason.

I understand those who feel life is poop and something (or things) that happened to them make them do or feel poopy things... but in all honesty, and with MUCH study (including quality time at a holocaust survivors centre,) it doesn't HAVE to be that way... the "sufferer" has to MAKE it bad... or good... or indifferent.

A quote my mom ALWAYS said to me, and you may take it "physically-literally", but I saw the broader meaning... and I hope you do to... is...

People only have as much power over you as you are willing to give them.

"Physically", and I know you will, you'll argue that a child could not fend off an adult sexual assault, as an example... BUT... when that child grows up, it IS up to them to figure out how much power their attacker CONTINUES to have against them.
PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 20:01
Comment from: ONIT [Visitor] Email ·
I think people are responsible for their own actions, and someone who blames his/her actions on something that happened to him/her as a child is just grabbing the first excuse available. It's up to each individual to break the circle of violence.. BUT.. I fail to see what that has to do with "bad things don't happen". :)

I'm not asking you to agree with me. And I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong. (so.. sorry.. speech was for naught.. LOL) You're not. For you, you're absolutely right. For me, I am. Truth is merely perception. And that some perceptions can be as different as night and day is one reason why humans are so fascinating. :)

PermalinkPermalink 08/27/07 @ 21:51



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