Archives for: August 2006, 28

08/28/06

Permalink 11:58:30 am, by Email , 1497 words   English (CA)
Categories: General Shtuff

"Destined for great things!" and why I hate Mondays...

Achieving Heights

I think most of us have a "sense" that we could be doing more or doing something better...

That somehow, the fates have conspired to keep us in a current location, but if we read that one thing, thought about that one item, or met that one person, things would be infinitely better... or at least, a lot more meaningful.

Throughout my own life, especially when I was younger, I would constantly hear people tell me that I would do something "great"... that I'd be wildly successful and make a real difference.

No, I'm not talking about those "empowering kids T.V." programs... or even the late Leo Buscaglia programs that always ran on PBS... just in general, people seemed to predict "great things" for me.

Leo Buscaglia

Now, even as a kid, I realised that my father had achieved a certain level of success in business, my Grandpere had achieved a level of success and even a quasi-fame, my family is a moderate "storied" family in my home town as far as what they did here and whatnot... so I figured that these "predictions" were based on the family background combined with my size... I'm a big guy at age 40... over six-foot tall and about 270lbs... and I was always been a "big kid" growing up.

Heck, as an "adult" (chronologically anyway,) I've had complete strangers walk up to me twice in my life... not nutbars... but strangers... and ask me about myself and then tell me that I will be "great"... I know this sounds weird, but it's true...

One almost wonders if they were clever plants from some twisted prankster or the like...?

Trickster

I should qualify this a bit... One was a young-ish girl who was with a friend of my ex-girlfriend... When the friend and ex spotted each other on a street, they approached each other... but the "young-ish" girl came up to me, without knowing me, and said, "You're going to do amazing... Something popular... You won't be in front of a camera or on stage, but you're going to be very successful."

Now, it's not like I asked for a reading... this just came out of the blue... and I admit, perplexed me greatly... but I brushed it off as just general "weirdness".

The next time was weirder... Same ex-girlfriend and I were at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto... and an older fellow came up to me and just said, "Wow! Are you going to do great! You're going to be so successful! You're going to make a real difference!", he then shook my hand, gave me his name (which I admit, due to his approach and message, I almost promptly forgot), and went on his way leaving me a little... well... mystified.

Since then, through my paranormal studies and work, I've had a few psychic readings and whatnot... and they all say the same things... "Great Success" and "Making a Difference".

Psychic

Okay, before I get "choked out" for putting too much faith into psychic readings, I think I've actually "requested" two... and received about nine or ten all from differing sources... and only one predicted "doom and gloom" in my future... but then again, that psychic also had a "vested interest" in my personal misfortune... and, so far, was wrong on every count. (For the record, that psychics track record was iffy... in the extreme... to begin with.)

I guess what I'm saying is, when I sit down and consider all these things, I have an (admittedly) false sense of almost entitlement... but not really.

Destiny

It's like there's this destiny that, for whatever reason, I have yet to find or start... and at times, it's extremely frustrating.

I have no want to be an "actor" or really, achieve any kind of "fame" as "fame" is accepted as being nowadays... Sure, I enjoy a spotlight, but I prefer it to be one of acknowledgement for knowledge and achievement rather than one for simply "being" or "existing"...

In so far as being "in the public eye" in those samples I've been afforded (I've done documentaries for TV and film as well as many newspaper interviews and articles)... I really hate being photographed or "filmed"... I do enjoy doing radio when I can (working in radio is honestly one of my not-so hidden desires...) because it's based on words, not on aesthetic features... Thoughts, not physicality...

Clear Road

Anyway, I don't think anyone likes Mondays really... but as I got up today, struggled to the computer with my cup of coffee to delete the mountain of spam that collects overnight, showered, got dressed, and head off to my work... I felt that I'm missing something... that somehow, there's more I could and should be doing... that somehow, my destiny is NOT shuffling papers anonymously...

Don't get me wrong, it's decent and honest work and for some, it's great... but dag-nabbit if something isn't niggling at the back of my mind... something saying, "Dude! You should be doing..." and then it fades off without imparting it's wisdom as to what my actions should be leaving me to both be frustrated and to be second-guessing myself at every turn.

I admit, I haven't read any "self help" books... and although I do consider myself a mild student of the human condition... I ask myself... is this what everyone goes through? Is this all part of everyone's experience just in varying degrees?

Was Henry David Thoreau bang on when he said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"?

Dangling Carrot

Hard to say... I mean, I'm personally VERY happy with my family and life... and aside from my office and sincere lack of funds, I'm loving life... but still... and I feel that this "destiny" of mine, should I discover it, is not going to upset the apple cart of those things that I do love...

...but is it just me, or do we all feel that there's personal potential that, as yet, is untapped within ourselves?

Spacer

Speaking of all this... there is a bit of "on topic" to this too...

You'd probably not be shocked at how often I've sit at my computer or otherwise been sitting about thinking that there's something else I could be doing to achieve our dream of rescuing RLH 3... that there's someone to connect with... someone who, if they only heard/saw/read/knew about this whole quest and everything behind it, would help make it into a reality...

Getting Attention

Honestly, it's very much like being in a boat in the middle of a somewhat calm lake, wanting to head for shore and land... and hearing that the waves are breaking only a few yards off your bow... and yet, not knowing exactly which way to turn...

Does that make sense?

I've toyed with trying to contact ad firms and public relations people... seeing if anyone might take on the "goal" as a pet project (I can't afford to pay anyone right now) and broadcast the dream to the masses... in a vain attempt to touch the right person or people...

...but who to contact? Who to touch? Who to try?

Patron Help

Sue often goes to bed at night telling me that she needs to find our "patron" to help get the bus... I'd agree as we can't do it ourselves in the foreseeable future... but how to find them? Where does one locate a “patron” for such a project?

Very much, like my note above about my life in general, these things perplex me... and generally haunt me.

The potential is there... the things are within reach... but in which direction do we reach?

Reaching

The only thing I can genuinely "feel" about my fate is that this bus we're on about saving, RLH 3, is something that, for whatever reason, we must strive to make a reality... and what's odd is that, thankfully, Sue is with me on this... supportive and involved... and that, at least, doesn't make me feel too strange about all of this.

I know, it's weird... but hey, you gotta admire us "sticking it out there" for the world to see...

To quote my mom again... "Always ask. The worst anyone can say to you is no."... and at least we're trying.

Did I mention how much I totally love my family? Every so often I think about how many other women out there would bolt on a whacko like me... and yet Sue not only embraces the weirdness, but assists me and supports me as well.

Everyone should be as lucky as I am in that way.

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One Old Green Bus

This blog was started in April of 2006... its original itent was really twofold. One was to be a "sounding board" for it's author... and the other... well...

At the time we started this, your humble author was unemployed and going through the usual crisis situations that arise from being jobless.

We (my wife, stepdaughter, and I,) used to "amuse" ourselves (read: Take our minds off our troubles) by more-or-less fantasizing as a family about what we'd do when things "turned around". Along this route, we discussed going to England on a vacation... and in that, alighted on "double-decker buses".

We kind of adopted one bus... Regent Low Height 3... as Our Bus... and we used to talk about what we'd do with "our bus" if we got it... from fixing it up to the trips we'd take on it.

Along the way, we became students of the history of this bus which HONESTLY seemd it was truly for us... trouble was, we couldn't afford the bus and weren't in a position to work towards the bus... so we had a couple of options...

Since the bus' position was sketchy (there's a chance she might be sold for scrap or "carved up" in other ways,) we could forget about her and pretend she didn't exist...

...or we could TRY... ask for help... put our dream of owning and saving "One Old Green Bus" into the universe and see what happens...

As of February, 2008, we knew that there was a perspective buyer for the bus (not us, obviously,) and made some difficult decisions... The first was that we wouldn't "beg" for help anymore and give the little money we received to a few different charities both online and off... and the second was simply hope that either we find a corporate sponsor (for an "ad" idea we have, click here to about read that,) or even a patron who see's the value in a silly family's dream...

But, if the bus is about to be purchased by someone who's planning on restoring it and they "get there first", we wish them well and are glad that at least Our One Old Green Bus is in a safe place being looked after.

For now, though, we are still hoping WE might be the ones to get our One Old Green Bus and see a family dream come true...

Regardless, this blog WILL continue... and we will still "go for" a bus of our own... but this blog will ALWAYS be dedicated to our own One Old Green Bus.

Want to know more about Regent Low Height buses? Click here!

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